Straw Into Gold

Struggling to find You in my heart
I wade through pain and confusion,
Impatience and isolation;
I wade through what I think should be;
I wade through judgments and anger;
I wade through what I wish could be.
How did these things I loathe get in my heart again?
How do I find You in this dark, painful heart?

Yet You are always here
And You are always near
Though sometimes hard for me to find.
I beg You to help me lose
These pains and distractions.
I surrender all I am to Your Will,
To Your Sacred Heart, once again.
And then I wait, on You my Lord.
You do not lift this pain right away.
But still I wait.
The stone on this tomb is too heavy for me, my Lord.
Please help soon!

As I struggle to prepare a place for You,
I encounter my fears, my pains,
My total dependence on You.
I look to You, Lord, for only You
Can strengthen and heal me.
“I am not worthy to receive You,
But only say the word and I shall be healed,”
I chant as I clean house in my heart.

Emptying my chalice, I wait for You to fill.
I will not move until You come.
Day after day, hour after hour,
I wait, I pray, I dig, I prepare.
My heart reaches for Your Sacred Heart.
I call for You, I open the doors wider.

Contemplating Your Sacred Heart,
I remember the Thorns, the Wound, the Cross.
You know the constant pain.
You know the rejection and isolation.
You know the desire for Your people
Burning in Your Heart, a Love unrequited.
And I have asked for Your Heart!
What did I expect?

Contemplating Your abandonment
To us on Your Cross,
I draw near to Your Altar of Sacrifice;
Accepting Your Pain in mine, I let Peace in.
As Your Peace enters my heart,
Your Light overcomes the shadows
And the straw of the place I prepared
For You to rest Your head
Is turned to Gold as Your Presence
Touches it and comes to rest.

As I receive Your Body and Blood,
Our Communion, our Covenant of Love, is completed.
As I become one with Your pain,
So I become one with Your Peace.
I receive You, Jesus, into my heart once again
As You are born anew in me.

Please make me a willing carrier
Of the desire of Your Sacred Heart.
Please make me a willing example
Of Your Love through pain.
O Sacred Heart inspire me
With Your Love that knows no bounds!
And turn the unworthy straw of my heart
Into the Gold of Your Presence!

12/25-26/1999

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Emmanuel

The night was cold.
The Star washed the landscape with its Light,
Settling in to illuminate a lonely cave
Where a newborn’s first whimpers were heard.

Precious sounds from a Precious Child
Breathing His first breaths of our world
Joining with the choirs of Heaven
Who heralded His coming.

His tiny Heart, beating alone now,
Already held the Love that would save us.
Jesus, they whispered to this Son, Savior.
Emmanuel, God With Us.

His parents gazed in wonder, as all parents do,
At the beauty of His countenance,
At the Hope and Peace this Child contained,
Already being shared with His loved ones.

The night was cold,
But the Light of the World,
The Sacred Heart of hearts
Was beating for us.

In joyful anticipation of the reunion
His Birth and His Sacrifice would bring,
He smiled in peaceful slumber
Awaiting our return.

12/13/99

So Like You

You came
So preciously wrapped
In the Body of an infant
Just like ourselves.
You did not enter our world
In the Glory which is You,
But in the humility which is us.
You did not need to come like this
For I would have loved You anyway.
But, so like You, You did.
You came
Healing our bodies with Your touch,
Healing our hearts with Your Love,
Healing our souls with Your Words and Life.
You did not need to die such a violent death for me
For I would have loved You anyway.
But, so like You, You did.

Your eyes of Love
Saw our need to have You with us,
To have Your healing touch, Your Love,
Your Life touching ours always.
So to remain with us as we desire
You poured Yourself out,
The substance of all You are
Wrapped in the form of Bread of Life;
You poured the essence of all You are,
A tincture of our God,
And our God’s Love embodied,
You poured out into this wine,
Making it Your Blood.
You did not need to remain like this
For I would have loved You anyway.
But, so like You, You did.
Your Sacred Heart of Love,
Promising never to leave us,
Sent forth Your Spirit of Love
So You could remain always
In our hearts, within us, inseparable.
Your Spirit, a monument of Your Love,
Burns Your Eternal Flame in our hearts.
Did You need to remain so constantly with us as You did?
For I would have loved You anyway.
But, so like You, You did.

You grace my life
With all You are.
Your Sacred Heart a constant reminder,
Your Bread of Life a constant Presence,
Your Spirit of Love a constant inspiration.
You overwhelm my life with Your Love.
You did not need to give me anything more
For I love You anyway.
But, so like You, You did.

3-6-2000