I crouch a short distance from Your tomb
Just beyond the soldier’s sight and hearing,
As close to You as I can without being discovered.
My body is at once numb and aching from crying
Yet the tears still pour like a river from my swollen eyes
And my body shakes with futile sobs.
Why am I here alive, a sinner,
While You, King of Life, lie dead in a tomb?
What beauty, what justice, what love can there be
In a world that slaughters its best,
The Messiah sent to love us,
Sent to lead us home to the Father?
How can there be any joy for me now
In anything of this heartless world?
Friends, why did you not support Him?
Rocks, why did you not sing forth His praise
Angels, why did you not rescue Him
Or comfort Him in His agony?
Father, where is Your love for Your only Son
That You would allow Him to die like this
In so cold a world unwilling to love Him in return?
How can I understand Your Heart
At once cruel and forgiving?
Will You help me understand
Why a man yet God so Precious, so Pure,
So Life-giving, so healing,
Was Himself so brutally mistreated, so misunderstood,
So ignored, rejected and unloved?
Father, Your words in my heart
Tell me of the love of a Father
As seen through the love and life of the Son.
Your words in my heart tell me
Of how long You have loved Your people
And longed for their faithful return;
How long they have rejected You.
Your words in my heart tell me
Of a lonely tomb in our hearts,
Ignored, misunderstood,
Even hated if that be possible.
How cold and dark like the tomb
Must our hearts feel to You,
O Giver of Life.
Yet You wait in silence,
Like Your Son in His tomb,
For life to return to our hearts
And welcome You in.
O Father! O Son! O Holy Spirit!
O Promised One!
Help me to prepare my heart
For Your return as You promised!
Come to my poor darkened heart
And bring it Light and Hope again!
Bring Your Sacred Heart to Life in me
That I may love, not despair.
Come bring us Hope,
Though we gave You little;
Come bring us Peace,
Though we left You none;
Come bring me joy
That died with You;
Come bring me love
That I may love You as You desire;
Come and resurrect Your Heart in mine.
Do not leave me, as You promised.
I will wait for You, my Lord,
Keeping my lonely vigil.
If You die, my heart dies with You;
But if You live, live in me!
2-21-2000